Monday, December 22, 2008

Merry Christmas!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Bruce the Bald Frog

(An Answer to Blogger's Random Question: The children are waiting! Please tell them the story about the bald frog with the wig.)

Once, not very long ago, there was a great big frog whose name was Bruce. Bruce had a very good job, and he lived in a hip neighborhood called Waldo. Although Bruce had every other reason to have the utmost confidence, his ribbit was so resonating that, instead of attracting the lovely lady froggies, it frightened them away. In fact it wasn’t really a ribbit at all but rather a deep bellow like that of the bulls in the countryside.

One of Bruce’s frog buddies suggested that he simply never speak. He tried that but then his best characteristic, his story-telling ability which was loved by all who knew him, could not be expressed. Any attention from the frogspawners was fleeting because Bruce's lack of conversation made him appear to be lower on the evolutionary ladder.

Then one day, he met the Love Frog. Had the Love Frog been a human, his profession might have been door to door vaccuum salesman. The Love Frog saw immediately that Bruce's watering hole was spawn-less and began selling Bruce a solution. "Bruce, my main frog, your problem is not your bellow but your baldness. Look in the mirror, fellow, and what do you see? You are bald as bald can be."

This was certainly true, thought Bruce, so he asked, "You're the Love Frog. What would you prescribe?" The Love Frog pulled out his rubber gloves, placed them on his webbed digits, and felt all around Bruce's head. "Not a single follicle, I'm afraid. Propecia will not work for you. We must get you a wig." Poor Bruce swallowed the sales pitch just like he'd seen the fish in the water fall for the fisherman's hook time and time again. Never once did it occur to him that all frogs are bald, even the Love Frog.

Two days later, the Love Frog returned with a doozy of wig. Bruce looked at it hesitatingly and asked, "Was this all you could find for me?" Although the wig was certainly detestable, the Love Frog in all his icky slipperiness replied, "My dear Bruce. This is Waldo. You can't have just any old do. This spiked look, brought to fame by the punk rockers, is all the rage these days!" Bruce couldn't argue with that, so he donned the wig and waited for his love to arrive. He waited and waited and waited.

Then one day, along came a bright green lizard, one of the omnivorous kind, charging right at Bruce. Bruce looked behind him, thinking that perhaps she had set her eyes on someone else, but there was no one behind him. No one to the right, and no one to the left. Then he suddenly realized the lizard's gaze was directly on him, but it wasn’t a look of hunger but a look of desperate love! Bruce looked in the water at his reflection and saw a spiky-headed lizard looking back at him. “Oh, no! When she finds out I’m not really a lizard, I’ll be her dinner!”

Within moments of the lizard's reaching him, Bruce swiped the wig from his bald head and let out the most guttural, loud and awful ribbit ever heard in herpitology. It was so loud that the bulls in a nearby field echoed his call. Shocked at the sound and embarrassed by her mistake, the lizard turned and ran away.

Bruce, whose intellect is sound although perhaps a little naive, understood then how silly it was for a frog to wear a wig. Just as he was laughing at himself and shrugging off any chance at reproduction, the lovely frogspawners began to appear in the dozens. To Bruce's surprise, they weren't afraid of his bellow any more. In fact, they loved his ribbit, for it was frightening enough to scare away a predator that loves to feed on frog eggs.

Ever since then, Bruce has been considered the father of all the generations of bullfrogs, with their distinct mating call that ensures their existence in perpetuity.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Spreading Good Cheer

Merry Christmas! Bryan, Jackie and Lucy went to Elf School and learned a couple of dances!



Elf Yourself Here